


Helpless {Lams} [Mute Alex]

by SunkissedChild5



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Collage, Gay, High School, M/M, Post-High School
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25288042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunkissedChild5/pseuds/SunkissedChild5
Summary: [Lams High School & College AU] Alex, a mute high school student, finishes his senior year at Lin-Manuel Miranda High School. He ends up meeting John Laurens, a sweet boy who manages to make Alex feel safe. But love doesn't always come easily. It becomes clear to them very soon that Helpless has more than one definition.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, George Washington/Martha Washington, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Maria Reynolds/Margaret "Peggy" Schuyler
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This probably sucks, but imma write it anyways. Enjoy!

Alex's POV

Alex has always liked the idea of snow. He's also always liked the idea of living in 'the big city'. However, now that he's actually walking through the snow covered streets of New York, he decided that snow is evil, and the 'big city' looks threatening after sunset.

He kicked a rock out of his path on his way to his cousins. I can take care of myself, he thought angrily. By the time he got inside the house, it was dark out.

"Where were you?!" Peter yelled. Alex was startled. He just went for a walk, and he really wasn't gone for long at all. Why was he so upset?

Peter ushered him inside, checking him over for injuries of any sort. "I go to use the restroom for five minutes and you're nowhere to be seen! I was about to call the cops!" he ranted.

‘I'm sorry,’ Alex signed, shaking slightly. ‘I just went for a short walk.’

Peter deflated, seeing that he was scaring the boy. "Well," he said, walking into the kitchen, "the next time you decide to go on a walk, please, please, please, tell me first. You almost gave me a heart attack."

‘I will,’ he signed, taking a seat at the table.

"Here," said Peter, "dinners ready." He served Alex and himself a plate then took a seat. 

‘Thanks,’ signed Alex.

"I know that this isn't an ideal situation for you, and that you would much rather be back in Nevis right now, but I want you to feel comfortable here. Maybe even say a few words every now and then?" 

Alex shoved some food in his mouth and avoided eye contact. He hasn't spoken in years, and he definitely wasn't about to start speaking now.

Peter sighed and pushed his food around his plate with his fork. "I remember when I would go to visit y'all each summer when you were little. You were so happy and energetic. You would sing non-stop for hours on end. Why'd you stop, Alex?" He said.

Alex shrugged and looked down at his plate. Peter wouldn't understand. He wasn't there. Peter sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He stood up and put their dirty plates in the sink, before heading to his room with a simple 'goodnight'.

Alex stood up and went to his own room and lied down to go to sleep. 

——————timeskip———————

He was lying in bed with his mom, deathly sick. You could smell their vomit on the sheets. His brother James was taking care of them, nursing them back to health. 

Alex's mother was singing to him weakly, trying to comfort him. 'U-un, deux, t-trois, quatre, cinq, s-six, sept, huit, n-neuf,' she sang. Her voice was getting quieter and quieter. She was losing strength quickly. 

'U-un, d-deux, t-trois, quatre, c-cinq, s-six, s—' she couldn't even make it to ten. She was gone. Alex held onto his mom, sobbing harshly. Why do they always have to leave?

Alex shot up in bed, breathing heavily. He wiped the tears from his eyes and shook away the memory of that night.

7:30 am. That leaves him with thirty minutes to get ready for his first day of school. He threw on some fresh clothes and brushed his teeth before going to the kitchen to eat a bowl of cereal. Once he was done, he grabbed his backpack and walked out the front door.

Crap. Peters car was still in the driveway. He was late for work. Alex dropped left backpack on the driveway, and ran inside. 

He knocked hurriedly on his cousins bedroom door. No answer. He knocked harder. Still no answer. ‘If this is some kind of 'master plan' to get me to speak,’ Alex thought, ‘It's not going to work.’ He turned the knob, and opened the door. 

********TRIGGER WARNING*******

There was Peter, hanging from a rope with a chair slightly off to his side. Alex froze at the sight, not believing his eyes. Memories overwhelmed him and he fell to the floor in tears.

A man shoving him against the wall and punching him in the gut. His mother stood powerless off to the side while he cried.

Watching his mom slowly get weaker and weaker while he healed. While he lived.

Being trapped underneath a fallen roof, while his brother was drowned by the rising waters. 

Alex stood up and ran out of the house and to the neighbors. He pounded on their door until a man came out looking startled. Alex tried to say something. Anything. But he couldn't even get out a simple 'help'. He was too choked up.

He grabbed the man by the wrist and rushed him into the house and to Peter's room, gesturing wildly. The man gasped in shock before pulling out his phone and calling for help. 

Alex watched as they covered Peter's body in a white sheet. They said that he was gone before Alex had even woken up. 

Alex spent that night at a nearby boys home. His last thought before falling asleep was, 'Why do they always leave?'

——————-timeskip——————

That next morning, a social worker found Alex some foster parents. Their names were Martha and George Washington, and they were the closest available foster parents who new sign language. 

The ride to their house was silent. When they got inside, Mr. Washington showed Alex to his room so that he could unpack. He put all of his clothes in the drawers and placed his stuffed lion, Lin, neatly on the bed. Eventually, he was called down to eat lunch.

While they ate, Mr. Washington told Alex about the new school he would be going to. "There are these boys in your grade called John, Hercules, and Lafayette," he explained, "They're very friendly with everyone, and will probably try to befriend you immediately. They can be a bit overwhelming, but they mean well."

Alex nodded, not really listening. He continued to push his food around his plate. "Son, you need to eat," said Mr. Washington.

‘Don't call me son,’ Alex signed. He grudgingly took a bite of his food before pushing his plate to the center of the table.

"I know that you've been through a lot these past few days," the man said tiredly, "but we need you to cooperate with us so that we can help you. Son—"

‘I'm not your son,’ Alex signed, tears already forming in his eyes as he got worked up. 

"I understand that your hurt and upset," Washington said. No he doesn't, Alex thought, he wouldn't understand unless all of it happened to him. 

"And you have every right to be," he continued, "I just want you to know, son—"

‘CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME!’ Alex signed aggressively, standing up from his seat. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at the shocked faces of Mr. & Mrs. Washington. He ran his hand through his hair before signing weakly, ‘I'm going to sleep. Goodnight.’

He ran upstairs while holding in tears, only letting them out once the door was closed. ‘Everything's moving too fast,’ he thought, ‘I just need everything to slow down.’ He laid on the bed and held Lin, the only thing of his that survived the hurricane, to his chest while he sobbed.

A knock on the door startled him from his thoughts. "Alex?" A female voice said. Mrs. Washington. "We just want you to know that if you ever need to talk, we're here, okay? Sleep well."

Alex only relaxed when he heard her footsteps fade away. He didn't trust these people. They're practically strangers. His only comfort that night was the hope that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow would be better.


	2. Charles Lee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I tried to get chapter two out for you guys as soon as I possibly could. I hope ya'll enjoy!
> 
> !!Warning!!: Homophobic slur

Alex's POV

Mr. Washington woke Alex up at six in the morning, which is an hour earlier than he's used to. He was sluggish all morning and almost made Mr. Washington late for work because he took so long. He didn't even have time to eat breakfast before he was rushed out of the door.

As soon as they arrived, Mr. Washington had to go set up for class so he left Alex with the principal, Mr. John Adams. As soon as he saw the man, Alex knew that he hated him. The man was full of himself and was talking down on all of his students and employees.

Alex left the office as soon as he had received his schedule. He thought about trying to locate all of his classes, but eventually just decided to find Washington's room and wait there until class starts. He had Washington as his homeroom teacher anyways.

He started off through the halls looking for Room 1781. There were may posters strung up on the walls, but only one particular poster caught his eye. 

‘Lin-Manuel Miranda High School Debate Club!’

He would have to look into that at some point. He was already signed up for Government and Law, American Sign Language, and Theater but he wouldn't mind taking up some extra-curriculars. 

Eventually, he was able to locate Washington's class using the map that he was thankfully given. Alex knocked softly on the door and received a 'Come in!' from inside. There Peter was, hanging from a rope by his neck, a chair just a few feet away. Alex shook his head, ridding himself of the memories, if only for a little. 

He opened the door and walked inside, taking a seat in one of the desks near the wall. Washington took a pause from his work and grabbed something from off of his desk. He walked over to Alex and handed him a phone. "I meant to give this to you earlier, but I never got the chance to," he said, "You should set it up now, so that you can talk with any friends you make today."

‘Thanks’, Alex signed, immediately beginning to set it up. He finished it just as the first bell rang.

——————linebreak——————

Johns POV

John wouldn't have embarrassed himself so badly had Laff not pushed him inside of their homeroom class so kindly. John stood up and brushed himself off, glared at his friend, and attempted to make his way to his desk with the small amount of dignity he had left.

It didn't help that Mr. Washington was laughing at his fall and that a kid that John didn't recognize was looking at him with a very amused look on his face. It also also didn't help that said kid was very attractive. John flushed bright red took a seat at his desk, which was unfortunately, not near the new kid. 

Eventually, the late bell rang and class begun. "Everybody, I would like ya'll to meet Alexander," Washington said, "Alex is mute, so if you know sign language, I encourage you to have a conversation with him. Today will be his first day here and I would like for him to feel welcomed." 

People began to whisper and Alex blushed, embarrassed by all of the attention. Just seeing the embarrassed look on his face made John like him more and more. The rest of the class period past blandly. They never do much in homeroom, except catch up on work from their other classes and the occasional Morality Lesson. John had just gathered up the courage to go and introduce himself to Alex when the bell rang. 

Everybody rushed out the door and John lost Alex in the crowd. "It's okay, mon ami," Laff said, appearing at Johns side. "You can catch up with your crush after school." John blushed, I'm not that obvious. Am I?, he thought. He opened his mouth to protest, but Laff cut him off before he could even say a word. "Don't even think about saying that you don't like him," he said, "I saw you looking at him during class."

John blushed bright red, "I wasn't—". He was interrupted by the snarky voice of Charles Lee farther down the hall. John and Laff shared a quick look before rushing off down the hall to help whoever it was that Lee was bullying this time.

"Look at this dumbass," Lee said pushing somebody up against the wall. "He doesn't even know how to talk." He turned and gestured dramatically at the boy, as if showcasing an animal at the zoo. The boy was Alex, and he had tears in his eyes.

Lee noticed this and got an evil glint in his eyes. He leaned close to Alex and whispered something in his ear. Whatever he said had an immediate effect on him. Alex shook his head rapidly, falling to the floor with sobs and curled in on himself. John pushed his way through the crowd and got in front of Alex, shielding him from Lee.

"Who the hell do you think you are, Lee?!" He yelled, "Leave him alone!"

"Stay out of this, faggot," sneered Lee. Rage bubbled up inside of John at the use of that word. He shoved Lee back, making the growing crowd take a step back. Laff moved behind his friend and began to comfort the sobbing boy sitting on the floor.

"Leave, Lee!" John yelled. 

Lee seemed to grow a brain cell and began to walk away, but not without casting a look over his shoulder and saying, "Don't forget what I said, Alexander!" Alex only curled farther in, and his sobs increased in volume. 

The crowd eventually faded away, due to them remembering that they had classes to get to. John and Laff managed to get Alex to move into the restroom, where they attempted to calm him down. Nothing seemed to get him to calm down until Laff began to sing to him. 

"Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, huit, neuf," he sang. It had an immediate affect. Alex's breathing slowed and his sobs decreased. Laff stood there in shock until I gestured for him to keep going. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, huit, neuf." He repeated the line over and over until Alex was completely calm again.

‘Where did you learn that song?’ he signed.

"It's a french nursery rhyme (don't quote me on that)," he said, "My mom used to sing it to me." 

Alex nodded before signing, ‘I'm Alexander Hamilton.’

I smiled and said, "I'm John Laurens and he's Lafayette. Do you have a phone?" Alex nodded and pulled it out. I put Laff and my's numbers into his contacts and put his number into my phone.

We managed to just barely get to our classes before the bell rang by running full speed. We showed up breathless and flushed, but it was definitely worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mom walked in while I was writing the fight scene and was not happy with the words used. I just got in trouble for you guys, so I really hope y'all enjoyed that chapter.
> 
> Question Of The Day: What do y'all think Lee told Alex?
> 
> Thanks for reading!- SunkissedChild5


	3. Trapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am so so so thankful for all of the support I'm receiving for all of my stories. It means a lot to me! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter and don't forget to leave a comment and kudos!

Alex's POV 

John and Laff were standing in class, introducing Alex to Hercules and Peggy. Mr. Lin, their theater teacher, was giving them a free day because they had already finished their last play of the year. 

"These fools are Peggy and Herc," Laff said, taking a seat next to Alex. A short girl with curly brown hair and a tall muscular boy stood in front of them.

"I'm Peggy," the girl clarified.

"He never would have guessed," said the boy sarcastically, taking a seat next to his boyfriend. 

Peggy placed a hand over her heart dramatically and gave Herc a hurt look. "Well forgive me, Mr. Sassy Pants," she said. Alex could already tell he was going to like her. (Not that way. We can't have Alex cheating on our cinnamon roll)

"Ouch, Pegs. I worked hard on these pants," he said, wiping away a non-existent tear.

Laff patted him on the arm, playing along. "Its okay, mon amour," he said gently, "I think your pants look hot." 

John looked to Alex, pretending to be sick. By this point, Alex was working extremely hard to hold in his laugh. ‘I'm Alex,’ he signed to Herc and Peggy. 

They all talked for the remainder of the class period up until the bell rang, then Alex waved goodbye to his friends and headed in the direction of law class. 

He was very satisfied with his day so far. That was until Lee stopped him in the hall, pulling him off to the side with a friend of his. "Look, Hamilton," said Lee, "you wouldn't want your little secret getting out, would you?" Alex tensed up, remembering what Lee had told him the week before, which he had tried so hard to forget.

"Did it make you happy to see your cousin hanging from the ceiling? It could have been avoided, you know? You should have just spoken to him, Alex. Your a murderer. Are you going to kill the Washington's next?"

He shook his head desperately, tears gathering in his eyes. Lee smirked, having gotten the reaction he'd hoped for. "This is my friend, Aaron Burr," he said with a smile, "And here's the thing: Aaron really likes you. Do you like him?" 

Alex shook his head slowly, trying to make sense of the situation. Lee's smile dropped and his eye went dark. "Let's try this one more time," he said threateningly, "Do you like him?" A few more tears escaped Alex's eyes as he reluctantly nodded. Lee had him backed into a corner. He had nowhere to go.

Lee smiled widely and clapped Burr on the back. "You've got yourself quite the catch, Aaron," he said before walking off. 

Burr grabbed Alex's hand in his own and started walking him down the hall. It felt wrong. "There's this movie theater down by city hall that we should go to this weekend," he said confidently, "What do you say?"

Alex's breath caught in his throat as Burr squeezed his hand in a painful grip. He nodded hurriedly, wishing to be anywhere else in the world right then.

‘You're a murderer,’ he told himself, ‘You deserve this.’

Throughout the rest of the day, Aaron walked Alex to all of his classes. The worst part was when they passed John in the hall. He looked so heartbroken.

——————linebreak——————

John's POV

John could tell that there was something wrong with Alex. He looked scared and nervous, not to mention the fact that he was holding hands with Aaron Burr. Burr has a reputation here at Lin-Manuel Miranda High School as a player. He's broken the hearts of many boys and girls here. Now it seems his new target's Alex.

Just the sight of the two of them together caused John pain. He knew he liked Alex from the moment he first saw him and seeing him with another boy felt like a betrayal. 

We never even started dating so quit being dramatic, he told himself. Still though, he couldn't help but wish that it was him that Alex was holding hands with.

The worst part was how scared he looked. His free hand was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and his gaze was fixed firmly on the ground as if he couldn't bear to look anybody in the eye. His brow was furrowed and his lips were pursed in the same way they always were when he was worrying over something.

Burr noticed John staring and smirked, turning Alex's face toward him and placing his lips on his. Alex's eyes were wide with surprise while Burrs were closed. Alex never kissed back. 

John's heart stopped and he held back tears. He felt sick to his stomach as if somebody had punched him in the gut. In a way, Burr had done exactly that.

——notexactlyalinebreak——

Alex's POV

No, no, no. ‘This can't be happening,’ thought Alex. Burr's chapped lips felt gross and dirty against his own. Finally, he let go of Alex's face giving him the chance to look around in shock. But then he saw John and tears pooled in his eyes. 

"I love you, Lexi," said Burr, letting go of his hand to allow him to sign. Alex kept his hands firmly at his side, not wanting to sign those words to the sick person at his side. Then Burr gave him a dark look and Alex felt the tears spill from his eyes.

‘I love you, too,’ he signed, looking to John and pleading with his eyes for him to understand. John visibly deflated and looked at Alex with pain in his eyes before running off into the bathroom.

Alex wanted to run after him and tell him everything, but he couldn't. He was trapped and he had no way to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, I feel evil for writing this. I wanna go grab John and Alex and just hug them while we all cry. This whole chapter was painful.
> 
> QOTD: Favorite song from Hamilton?
> 
> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to leave a comment! -SunkissedChild5


	4. Say It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I'm literally crying as I write this because I know what's going to happen. Definitely do not enjoy this chapter and instead sit with me in the corner while we sob and eat ice cream.

Alex's POV

"Two tickets for A Safe Place, please," said Burr from next to Alex, squeezing his hand. The cashier handed him the tickets and the set off towards Theater 10.

Once he saw that they were alone in the hallway he stopped and turned to Alex. "You need to smile more, Lexi," he said, "People might think that your unhappy if you never smile." 

‘I am unhappy,’ thought Alex as he plastered a fake smile on his face. "Perfect!" said Burr, planting a kiss on the smaller boy's lips. Alex still couldn't bring himself to kiss back. 

‘This is wrong,’ he thought, ‘I shouldn't be kissing him. I should be kissing someone else.’ He pushed away the thought of curly hair and freckles that popped into his mind. He doesn't like me. Nobody likes me. Who could like a murderer?

Burr smiled and led him into the theater as if they were a normal happy couple.

Throughout the movie, Burr was constantly touching on Alex. He would hold his hand or mess with his hair almost non-stop. His touch felt dirty on the smaller boy. It felt as if everywhere his hands went, they left a trail of grime that Alex could never wash off.

At one point Burr let go of Alex's hand and placed his hand on his thigh, making him squirm uncomfortably. While they had only been 'dating' for a few days, Burr had never done more than kiss him and Alex prayed to whoever was out there that he would never do anything more than that.

Burr smiled at his discomfort and tightened his grip on the boy's thigh.

Alex looked back to the screen hoping to take his mind off of the situation. 

The boy on screen was a wizard who managed to escape from his abusive uncle using magic. He made it to safety at his teacher's house where his teacher and his friend helped him to heal. They helped him to feel safe and loved.

‘I wish I was able to escape,’ thought Alex. He wasn't able to escape when he was little, and he wasn't able to escape now. The gentle buzz of his phone had him look down.

(1 New Message From 'turtleboi')

turtleboi: hey alex, whatcha doin

Alex smiled and texted him back, cringing slightly at John's grammatical errors.

justyouwait: I'm at the movies with Aaron.  
turtleboi: oh  
turtleboi: the crew and i are gonna go to the diner in a bit. u wanna come after your movie?  
justyouwait: Sure. I should be there in about an hour. Is that okay?  
turtleboi: thats perfect

Alex smiled and placed his phone by his side, having something to look forward to after this 'date'.

——————

"So, who were you texting?" said Burr as soon as they had gotten inside the car. Alex blushed and looked down, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. 

John, he signed, my friends and I are going to the diner tonight. Burr sighed and grabbed Alex's phone, fiddling around with it for a second before handing it back to him. When Alex opened it, he saw that Burr had texted John.

justyouwait: Hey. I'm sorry, but there was a change of plans. Aaron is taking me out to eat.  
turtleboi: oh.   
turtleboi: that's okay. maybe we can try again tomorrow  
justyouwait: Sure.

Alex felt a tear slip from his eye and stared out the window, hoping for it not to be noticed. 

He had been with Burr the entire week non-stop since they had 'gotten together'. Each day his friends would reach out to him hoping to meet up, and each day Burr would shut it down. His friends and the Washingtons were all starting to get worried. 

Alex missed them.

——————

Eventually, they pulled up to Burr's house and walked inside. "I need you to understand, Lexi," said Burr as they stepped into the hall, "I'm trying to protect you. He doesn't like you. He can't like you. Normal people don't like murderers, Lexi."

He looked towards Alex with a crazed look in his eyes. 

"However, I pity you enough to love you, even with the things that you've done. And I'm the only one who will ever love you. But you have to admit it to me, Lexi. You have to say it. Say 'I am a murderer'."

‘I am a murderer,’ Alex signed with tears falling from his eyes. Burr chuckled softly at him as if he were a small child.

"No, Alex. You have to say it." Alex's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't used his voice since he was little. Lately, he'd been wondering if he even was still able to speak. He had tried to speak to get help for Peter, but he couldn't. He failed him.

"Just say it, dammit!" Burr yelled in his face.

"Just shut up, dammit!" yelled a man, "You don't know how to be quiet, do you?!" 

Ten year old Alex stood fearfully in front of his father, bruised from the beating he had just received. The man gave the child one final blow to the face before leaving the house for good.

Alex was shaking with fearful sobs, unable to say the words. 

"You killed your own cousin and you can't even admit it! You disgust me," he said before punching Alex firmly in the stomach. "Get out of my house!" he yelled, shoving the smaller boy out the door, leaving him to walk home.

By the time Alex got home, it was dark out. He waved hello to George and Martha, taking Burr's advice and putting a smile on his face. They never saw through the mask.

When he got into his room he laid down tenderly, careful of his bruising stomach, and set his phone on his nightstand.

(1 New Message From turtleboi)

turtleboi: so, how was ur date?

Alex wiped a stray tear and answered his friend before turning carefully turning onto his side and going to sleep.

justyouwait: It was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, guys! John will save him soon! Lams is on its way!
> 
> QOTD: What is y'alls current favorite fandom(s)?
> 
> Thanks for reading!-SunkissedChild5

**Author's Note:**

> Hamiltrash Tip: If you go on YouTube and search 'brrah brrah i am hercules mulligan', you can watch the full musical!


End file.
